X Marks the spot

Ellie's pre-op preparation has been under way for a few days now and will keep building until Monday's surgery. She has come off of formula (the supply of milk ended a little while ago), her meds are pared down to the minimum and we are taking baseline readings of her heart rate, heart function, and breathing to measure against after she comes out of anesthesia. We think that she may have a pulse that is on the slow end of the range and that her dips may be normal.



Today the pre-op folks came down and marked the spot on her belly where the ostomy will go as well. Abby told me tonight that seeing the spot made Monday's long awaited surgery very real for her. It has been a while since her last 'real' surgery that didn't take out or replace a central line and we are remembering what it is like to go through that. I rode down the elevator this morning with a couple whose child was in for surgery and they were waiting and talking about having nothing to do for the next 4 or 6 hours. I almost barfed thinking about it and the fact that we will be there Monday.

We both understand that to take a step forward we need to take a step back, but having such a great, happy kid is making that tough.

How can we take this smiling baby and make her stop smiling?
But then I remember what our nurse told Ellie a while ago:

"Ellie, you need to go home. The kindergarten bus doesn't stop at Children's."

Which reminds me that even though Ellie is very happy in the hospital (and presently keeping her mom up as she sings the night away), it isn't where she belongs. Eventually, one of these days (or weeks or months) she belongs at home, riding the dog and sitting on the lawn.

So we rest up for a few days and then start this wagon train a rollin'.

I have taken the week off from work (man are my bosses great!!) and we will hunker down and take care of the girl.

A new video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGnqbaso6pU