Do unto others….

We got word this week that a friend of ours from Florida and his wife have had a ‘critically premature’ baby at around 27 weeks. They live in Rhode Island and they are in good hands at Women and Infants in Providence. They still have a long long road ahead of them with the list of preemie issues that could pop up in the coming weeks months and years and a mom that is recovering from a complicated pregnancy and delivery

This made Abby and I a bit nauseous but then we realized that among all of our friends and family, we are the ones who likely know what these two are going through right now, how much their lives suck right now and how foreign the whole thing is.

I have gotten in touch with their family and Abby I and brainstorming from the long list of great things that people did for us during the first weeks and months after Ellie was born.

What helped the most? Besides starting this blog to vent, gripe and avoid having to retell the story to every good meaning person under the sun, the best thing was knowing that there were dozens of people out there that were thinking of us. You can’t help but feel alone in the NICU watching your baby for hours. Believe it or not, I have kept every email that I got from around the world from those first few weeks.

I am going to organize the troops to let them know that they are not alone.

What was the nicest thing that anyone did for us? Wow there are tons of things, from cookies and flowers (they help, really) to meals, it all helped us think about Ellie and not worry about food or the dog. Mowing our lawn and raking our yard was right up there, though.

But the thing that helped the most was finding other parents that have been through or are going through the baby with issues process.

It is tough for others (Especially those with young kids) to think about having a kid that is sick, but we do it every day and know lots of other families that are in the same boat. Again, it helps to not feel alone and not singled out.

In looking for the often told analogy of planning a vaction then making changes when a baby with special needs comes along, I searched for the story and found a very interesting blog about that subject which is coincidentally about another critically preemie baby http://screwholland.blogspot.com/ .

At the very least I will make sure that they have our home and cell numbers.

Support is a wonderful thing.